First off, that blog title is kind of weird, but It’s the universe talking to me cause I’m that damn special. So… I realize that Thanksgiving is 4 Days away and lots of people think you’re just EVIL if you even THINK about Christmas before the turkey leftovers are gone; but ya know what? My neighbors have had their Christmas tree up for two weeks and that means it’s ok for me to start watching Christmas movies. If you don’t like it you can blow it out your ass, Uncle Roman.
My top Christmas movies are these: Elf, The Grinch (Jim Carrey) and The Santa Clause. Of course I realize there are treasured and beloved Christmas films that are supposed to be everyone’s favorite but I go for charm as well as comedy people. (I like my movies to be just. Like. Me. 🤪)
I’m watching Elf even as I type this. Now, there are a few other flicks that I find myself watching every Christmas and they are these: Grumpy Old Men, because Walter Matthau looks like my grandpa and he looooved Christmas. Lethal Weapon, because who doesn’t love dead hookers and Gary Busey for the holidays? Just look at that sexy effing mullet!
And lastly, the Richard Harris classic, Camelot. I think it’s the perfect snowfall and well-behaved climate that does it for me. And, of course, the charm. My goodness Richard Harris is charming in that one.
Also, and this isnt all the way off topic so no one can yell “Jess focus!” Because it also has to do with a movie and Richard Harris and there’s even Christmas in it… Richard Harris is by far the superior Dumbledore and I don’t care what anyone else says. When I re-read the HP masterpiece it is Richard Harris’s face I see and Richard Harris’s voice I hear whenever Dumbledore is in a scene.
Anyway, today we saw Daddy’s Home 2. I absolutely love the original and watch it entirely too often. It’s in what I like to call “The Lincoln Club.” For other LC films see post script. To join in my lunacy, send me an IM— we’ve got jackets. It’s not a problem that they buckle up the back is it? You’d be surprised how comfortable they can be once you get your arms arranged just so.
Daddy’s Home 2 puts two of my Christmas favorites in the same two hour time frame (Will and Mel) taking place during “Together Christmas,”where Brad and Dusty decide to get everyone together so that the kids don’t have to do the old back and forth. Mel Gibson and John Lithgow join us as Dusty’s and Brad’s fathers, respectively. It makes for suuuper holiday goodness. All that was missing was my Punky B and a blanket. John Lithgow is a legend no matter what role he’s in — can you say Trinity? And though I absolutely adore Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs and enjoyed him in some other stuff back in the day, whenever I see him now I can’t help but remember the freaking Passion of the Christ movie during Mel’s breakdown period. Ya know how some actors or artists have a blue period? It’s kinda like that only he was way bigoty and full of himself.
The previous Worlds Sexiest Man is looking – and sounding- kind of rough these days. It sounds like maybe he stopped smoking at some point and just had cigarette smoke and tar and nicotine direct injected into his lungs, kinda like direct diesel injection. (Which I totally know what that is.). Having said that, he still has that amazing smile that I grew up loving and he has some really wonderful moments in the film. Just like in the original, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg have such fantastic screen chemistry, but also, like in every other movie he’s in, Will Ferrell steals it. Damn that man is holiday! If I had to pick one thing I didn’t love about it, it would have to be Dusty’s new wife and step daughter, who are haughty little bitches all the way through – like they both need to be punched in the ovary. But then the end of the show comes, and they were magically not assholes for the past two hours. So that was kind of lame. But John Lithgow took three snowballs to the face in amazing fashion so it’s easy for me to forgive that small ickishness.
Well that’s it for now friends and neighbors and strangers. Also, don’t feel bad if you’re a stranger and you know it (clap your hands); being strange just puts you in my realm of the universe. Like you’re totally almost in The Lincoln Club.
You lucky sumbitch.
Ps. Current Lincoln Club films are:
1- Lincoln – Daniel Day Lewis goodness.
2- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
3- Guardians of the Galaxy parts one and two
4- The Avengers
5- Grease – duh – though it’s been a while since I’ve watched it with any frequency. It keeps its place on the list because of the 600 times I watched it as a young lass.
6- Daddy’s Home
7- The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas – which I realize isn’t necessarily an Oscar winner but it’s a childhood favorite so… yeah. (Because what 8 year old girl didn’t sing and dance along with scantily clad and booby flashing hookers? I totally wanted that white cowgirl outfit by the way, and saw nothing whatsoever unclassy about it. Those were the good old days, when a young girl could watch a movie about singing whores and there wasn’t a thing wrong with it.)
I plan on adding Thor Ragnarok and It to the LC as soon as Amazon realizes that my family needs a break from the other movies on the list.
Go see Daddy’s Home 2– Also, Murder on the Orient Express, which I haven’t yet written about but will. That was a good’n. And let your Christmas freak flag fly people. Don’t let anyone tell you not to. I mean, unless it’s the cops. Cause that probably means you took it a little too far.