Oh holy shit that happens in real life.
My day started with a wee hours text that my cousin Casey had her baby last night; complete with a pic of my UJ holding beautiful baby Brooklyn. Sweet. ❤
Then it was dry shampoo day so I took a quick shower and then got cereal and settled in to read during time which would otherwise be used blow drying and styling. Then I thought to myself, I can wear makeup, or I could read for another 15 minutes… so yeah… I look ugly for the whole day now, but it was totally worth it.
Ya still with me? Cause I swear I have a point. What can I say? I have to build the scene for you so just hold onto your damn potatoes and I’ll get to it.
Now ordinarily I get in my car and put on whatever audiobook I’m listening to. At the moment it’s my second go-round with Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere. (Great book btw. I highly recommend it). But when I plugged my phone on it was The Used singing Sold My Soul, so I left it on music and rocked my heart out. Ya know, like you do when no one is looking. Sold My Soul gave way to Thanks For The Memories by Fall Out Boy and that’s what was playing as I pulled into my Holiday for a morning Coke Zero with cherry. I bee bopped my way in, went to the fountain drink station and as I dumped the remainder of yesterday’s drink into the little ice tray soda catcher thing, I wondered to myself if Webb and Susan were ever like “don’t you just fucking hate people who dump half a drink in here instead of walking their happy ass over to the sink?” I was contemplating asking Webb if this was the case so I could avoid future shit-listhood. I put a lil splash of cherry in my drink and was singing Thanks For The Memories under my breath. I sang “Get me out of my mind, get you out of those clothes” when I hear Webb call out “Good morning Jess!” And I could hear some laughter in his voice. I looked up and noticed he couldn’t possibly see me from where I was standing. I walk around the popcorn machine and see Webb and another faithful Holiday patron just busting a gut and smiling at me. Not in a dick way, but in an aww-ain’t-she-cute-and-retarded way.
I asked if they heard me singing, and I was positive they would say no but both of them said yes, amidst fresh peels of laughter. I said I thought I was singing quietly, more under my breath than anything and the patron at the counter said that no, it was quite loud indeed.
Let me refresh your memory as to the lyrics I was apparently bellowing out like Barbara Streisand: “Get Me out of my mind, get you out of those clothes..” and holy shit on me I have now experienced something I had previously only seen in the movies. And guess what? That shit is just as embarrassing as you would think.
The good news here is they probably didn’t notice I wasn’t wearing makeup because of how the embarrassment had blushed my cheeks for me.
It’s all about silver linings folks.