I’m not going to say that I knew Bear and I would be together forever the first time he made an Asian joke to me, but the thought did cross my mind. I should point out here that neither Bear nor I are prejudiced people. Haters are a bunch of ball lickers. But there’s only so many times you can be cheated on with an Asian woman before a slightly racist comment sounds like fucking Shakespeare in the park at sunset. It took me a long time to get it right where partners are concerned. The first time we were too young and hurt each other a lot before we figured it out. The second time the guy was batshit crazy.
I thought about this for two reasons. Number one, at a restaurant with my family there was mention of the “dipshit”, which is what my mama calls batshit guy, or anyone else who breaks my heart. Or just plain breaks me. Either way, I thought it was odd that she would still carry such bitterness toward him three years later when I do not. I suppose I will understand if some hag does that to my son one day, and then I have to track her down and shank her and say “that one was for Punky B, bitch!”) That whole experience made me believe in fate. If I hadn’t gone through that, I would not be where I am today and I don’t just mean with Bear. You learn a lot when you pick up the pieces of a sledge-hammered life, and not just about yourself. But yes, Bear is totally The Shit.
The second reason I thought of the whole “my husband isn’t really a racist” racist comment is the two men that I know who are going through break ups. These are two really amazing gentlemen, and I wondered what was going through the minds of their partners. As someone who searched for a partner for almost 40 years, I can’t help but think about it for one simple reason: there’s a crying shortage of good men in the world. Is the woman who has a man like this so good or hot or whatever the fuck women are supposed to be, that they could so easily cast their men aside? Do they think they can do better? Do these women have a line of eligible, hard working, honest and sexually gifted men just standing outside their front door, holding two dozen roses and playing her favorite music on the stereo of their Porsche while sweet talking her mom on his cell phone via one of those stupid ear piece things?
I can’t puzzle it out. I guess I never will. You hear every day that Americans have become entitled. I guess this is just one more thing that makes that statement true. And while I try not to be too bitter or judgemental (really, I do) I can’t help but hope both of these women get crabs from some tanned and toned hot guy with a six figure salary, sandy blond Brad Pitt hair and a huge member in his jockeys.